The Catfish's Web Pages

we will pour our jars in reservoirs
and turn the world off

-Tear Garden


Every page on the net is "under construction". These pages are "under mutation"; they change every time they are visited, barring a few nescessary constants. If you're lazy enough to stay here fifteen minutes and your browser supports META tags, we'll reload the page for you.

Service offer: send me unsolicited, "bulk" (commercial or non) email, and I'll proof it for 50 dollars a line! See here for more info on my valuable offer!

If you want to be blackholed at the gweep.net mail server, thou puny toad-spotted hugger-mugger, send mail to my old flame-bucket or to an old address. If you don't like something about these pages, or wish to correlate address scraping thou infectious loggerheaded reeling-ripe fustilarian, send mail to my current flame-bucket. If you like something about these pages, send mail to web-comment where scraped appears in the mailto link.

UT!!

Little-known JZP Fact Number Fourty-Three:
He coins new terms regularly: 'english muffian': a ruffian's breakfast.

"A construct made of cloned human tissue, augments, anxiety, depression, and unforcused rage, a killing machine for whichever humans rented me, until I made a mistake and got my brain destroyed."

Bob the Angry Flower demands TRIBUTE! KNEEL BEFORE HIS MIGHT

Want more spew? Need some terror? We have some Lovecraftian fragments...

And as a parting shot, meditate upon this classic Zen koan:

Some years ago, a disciple was walking by the temple when he came upon a sage.
The student humbly said,  "How do I acquire true peace?"
The master struck the student twelve times with his hand.
At that, the student became Enlightened.

Cheers,
joe